i am overflowing with comfort tonight. i started this evening feeling defeated and broken. all lies. basically letting them get me down and starting to believe them.
i met this Godly woman on twitter that has been so encouraging. i sent her a message asking her if she would pray for me. that i was struggling and could use some encouragement. basically i said i was a mess.
i had been sitting here wasting time on other things but praying as well. i should have gone straight to the Lord but i didnt. but praise God he still got my attention and in the last hour he has totally turned my heart upside down. if that makes sense.
she immediately answered and said: "that does NOT make you a mess! we all have seasons like that.."
i was so thankful for her ....and wished that i could have a close sister here that i could just call or message and reach out to. the thought quickly passed as i was encouraged by the Lord by more songs and praises...
not even 5 minutes later a dear (local) friend messaged me on facebook and asked me how i was doing. i could hardly respond...it was just one of those God moments!..i was in shock... he knows our hearts and he put me on hers and she responded. i love it. so sweet.
instantly i felt God just comfort and take away all these "feelings" of discouragement. i was so thankful for coleen .. just that God put her on my heart to reach out to and she was available right then. God gave her the words he knew that would speak right to my heart. then putting me on Valeries heart..
so i realize im searching for things other than the Lord. so i start doing a word study on "search" and here are some of a few great verses that pierced my heart.
Jer 17:10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
Jer 29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Lam 3:40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD.
Eze 34:6 My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them.
its all about HIM. when i get down with these emotions or whatever you ant to call them...i make it about me. such a waste of time. God is worth SO much more. i need to RUN to the Word and renew and cleanse my mind. and heart.
one of the songs ive been listening to all week in my head is "Holding on" by Jamie Grace. its beautiful. and my life it seems. so i typed her name and that song in google to listen to it. it brought up myspace and played that song and then i guess its a radio station now and kept playing music. total God thing! the playlist was basically songs i needed to hear..some were ones i hadnt heard in a long time that was an old favorite. .....perfect timing!!
as i was sitting here just reflecting on my heart attitude and actions it hit me that im sitting here feeling defeated when there are so many people around me probably in the same situation and no one is reaching out to them. and instead of me getting out there and ministering to them im defeated here on my couch. well not tonight! praise the LORD!
Jesus you are enough. i love you.
